Its Only Werds...

this thursday is my entrance exam for the actual nursing school. i have been told i am two-year wait-listed, but that doesn't work for me. at my age, every day toward my degree is accounted for. please don't add TWO YEARS!!!! then i found out for those who have a certain grade point average (gpa) or higher, you can "fast-track" off the waiting list. well YAY!!! except for a girl who tested with me friday for state nursing assistant certification...she said she qualifies for fast-track, has the gpa and has passed this entrance exam i am to take thursday...and she was told that too many others qualified and got fast-tracked...and she has to continue to wait. she transferred to a local State school...but i don't have that luxury. too far to drive, cost higher than my grant and the classes are during the day. i have to work. night classes at the community college are what i need -- that or online classes...i sigh.

i signed up for this quarter that begins in a few days. i got two more classes off my requirements for my degree. i am also picking up two certifications that will make me more "marketable" to the local hospital: EKG tech and ER tech. i'm excited. i can start picking up twelve hour shifts on weekends at the hospital. by the end of the year, i could have my income back above poverty level.

how did i get here? :'(

prayers gratefully accepted...and i cry out to Him.

You know, I love this blogging community, but we SO need to reach the lost. I am discouraged in that -- 'here' we are, all studying, pondering, seeking, asking, knocking, sharing...and who sees? I suppose the purpose is to strengthen ourselves and one another to be prepared to be "out there" in our worlds. That is where we make a difference, but we are still accountable to HIM. In "here", we grow and encourage growth. "Out there" we try to live lives that make people ask, "What is it with you? Where can I get THAT?" Still, I am frustrated 'here' and wonder what He is telling me.

and on that note...sometimes i wonder if i am REALLY listening....or am i waiting until i think i hear what i want Him to say...

 tough week. i think i blew my state exam. i really wanted to pass and get my state certification. got a 4.0 for the class; have been a caregiver all my life, but blew a "key step" in a tested proceedure. could be i have to re-test. not the end of the world, just another cost...and i don't have groceries.

seriously.