Its Only Werds...

this thursday is my entrance exam for the actual nursing school. i have been told i am two-year wait-listed, but that doesn't work for me. at my age, every day toward my degree is accounted for. please don't add TWO YEARS!!!! then i found out for those who have a certain grade point average (gpa) or higher, you can "fast-track" off the waiting list. well YAY!!! except for a girl who tested with me friday for state nursing assistant certification...she said she qualifies for fast-track, has the gpa and has passed this entrance exam i am to take thursday...and she was told that too many others qualified and got fast-tracked...and she has to continue to wait. she transferred to a local State school...but i don't have that luxury. too far to drive, cost higher than my grant and the classes are during the day. i have to work. night classes at the community college are what i need -- that or online classes...i sigh.

i signed up for this quarter that begins in a few days. i got two more classes off my requirements for my degree. i am also picking up two certifications that will make me more "marketable" to the local hospital: EKG tech and ER tech. i'm excited. i can start picking up twelve hour shifts on weekends at the hospital. by the end of the year, i could have my income back above poverty level.

how did i get here? :'(

prayers gratefully accepted...and i cry out to Him.

You know, I love this blogging community, but we SO need to reach the lost. I am discouraged in that -- 'here' we are, all studying, pondering, seeking, asking, knocking, sharing...and who sees? I suppose the purpose is to strengthen ourselves and one another to be prepared to be "out there" in our worlds. That is where we make a difference, but we are still accountable to HIM. In "here", we grow and encourage growth. "Out there" we try to live lives that make people ask, "What is it with you? Where can I get THAT?" Still, I am frustrated 'here' and wonder what He is telling me.

and on that note...sometimes i wonder if i am REALLY listening....or am i waiting until i think i hear what i want Him to say...

 tough week. i think i blew my state exam. i really wanted to pass and get my state certification. got a 4.0 for the class; have been a caregiver all my life, but blew a "key step" in a tested proceedure. could be i have to re-test. not the end of the world, just another cost...and i don't have groceries.

seriously.

No, seriously! Have you heard their song? It's more like a GIGGLE!!! And aren't they GORGEOUS!?!!?!?! Even the females!  There seems to be a much larger population of goldfinches in the woods behind the office where I work. And, come to think of it, I haven't seen or heard my "red-head" lately.    There was at least one woodpecker, I think a red-headed kind, and a downey woodpecker too. I used to hear him pecking and learned their song from there. Cool song. And when it rained, there seemed to be lots of goldfinches in those woods. Now the goldfinches are ALL OVER back there. Oh yeah, and there was a house finch at school I'd see on my lunch breaks. Those are so beautiful in a more quiet way than the goldfinches, yes? But gorgeous nonetheless...any way, a quote for you I heard in church today. We sorta celebrated the earth He gave us to live on / in and our worship leader / pastor gave us all GREEN t-shirts to wear to proclaim these things:

Listen to the sermon preached to you by the flowers, the trees, the shrubs, the sky, and the whole world. Notice how they preach to you a sermon full of love, of praise of God, and how they invite you to glorify the sublimity of that sovereign Artist who has given them being.

St. Paul of the Cross

And in Genesis 1:1, the Hebrew word for "created" is "bara" -- sorry, don't know how to do the housetop accent thingies, but the words means (from my Strong's concordance) "...to create, to make...is of profound theological significance, since it has only God as it's subject...only God can "create" in the sense implied by 'bara'...(HERE'S THE BEST PART!!!) the verb expresses CREATION OUT OF NOTHING....

SEE?!?!?!? *sigh* i LOVE that!!!!

So -- let us be good stewards of the earth He created where we live. (Stewards = a person who takes care of something that belongs to someone else.)

Love you!

Loree

Yesterday was the third and final day of clinicals. We demonstrated and received additional instruction on our Nurse Assistant skills at a rehabilitation facility. I met some beautiful marvelous precious people this past month. I would say I am moved and changed, but then, daily it seems something in this life makes me say that.

 (More)

This is where the rubber meets the road, kids. I've completed the classroom part of the STNA program at my community college. I have completed day one of clilnicals and have two days left. I have words.

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From Nicole Nordeman Album: Woven & Spun

"Holy"

How many roads did I travel before I walked down one that led me to You?
How many dreams did unravel before I believed in a hope that was true?
How Long? How far?
What was meant to fulfill only emptied me still
And all you ever wanted...

Only me on my knees
Singing 'Holy, Holy!'
And somehow all that matters now is
You are Holy, Holy

How many deaths did I die before I was awakened to new life again?
How many half-truths did I bear witness to, til the proof was disproved in the end?
How long? How far?
What was meant to illuminate, shadowed me still
And all you ever wanted...

Only me on my knees
Singing 'Holy, Holy!'
And somehow all that matters now is
You are Holy, Holy

And all I have is gratitude to offer you.

\o/

~thanks, Nicole.

a few words before i begin to share the things that have been on my heart...

 i'm exhausted.

i've graduated one from college; one from high school (not my child, but did all the things a mom does to help there); been to a courthouse wedding; finished my third quarter of school but studying for an entrance exam now; dived into an intense summer class; start a second job tonight (with wailing and gnashing of teeth); have been asked to lead a 'freedom to worship' session at a women's conference; am seeing my baby (ok, so he's 22 years old! he's still MY BABY!!!) off to the USAirForce come tuesday.

oh, help!! i say that half-heartedly, except for the part about school and the second job.

i have words to say -- stay tuned.

(i am so anxious to return to writing and sharing -- HE has given me even more things in my heart in the last few weeks, but i HAVE to finish this quarter -- two online finals to go -- BY Thursday night at 11!!! and ONE is over an entire anatomy / physiology class!!! that being said, i was delighted when my son called me last night. he shared something i thought was profound and i encouraged him to write it while it was passionate on his heart...and he did....and i share that...my son writes in my stead...praise GOD!)

 Here's what he said... 

p.s. the adorable picture is just a bonus ;)

p.s. alsotoo -- Thank you, Cindy (cndgsnr) -- last night when i hastened to post this, i asked joe if i could do so...his reply, "that's why i wrote it." they are His words, we are but vessels...share away and may some heart be uplifted! \o/ loree