Its Only Werds...

The Generational Sin Thing

 What was on my mind when I posted that challenge? I was thinking about my life in regards to my children, which often causes me to reflect on my own life and relationship to my parents. Some have said that I am a good mom. But I shudder at those comments, as my adult children are amazing IN SPITE OF ME. The enemy is faithful to remind me of the many shortcomings and failures in my life that I have PARADED in front of my children.

At this particular point in time, I seem to cry over them more than anything...even JoeChemist. Without going into devastating detail, for the recreation of this humble sinner saved by grace IS devastating, I will tell you this much: Each one of my precious babies is in some sort of stage that seems to reflect the times I fell into darkness. Each one of them has either made a choice or entered a lifestyle that is contrary to walking in the light.

Being raised catholic, I was never exposed to being saved, but once grown and married, I joined a neighborhood bible study right about the time I realized I was carrying our first child. His hand was on these three before they were formed in the womb. They were more or less raised in the church, (not the catholic church, but one I was invited to later) learning about Jesus, salvation, service, mercy, and grace. They all, at one time or another in their young lives, professed their faith and followed in believers baptism, as did I before they came along.

But I fell...and in front of their little eyes. And now those 'fallings' seem to have manifested themselves into my children's lives in one form or another. I grieve, I cry, I pray, I instruct and encourage and it rides the roller coaster rails. They have seen me get up, carry on and walk under grace, but the damage is done.

Now, I realize that each of them have to make their own choices, but for some reason, I wondered if my inability to turn toward heaven in times of temptation had caused this sin to fall on them. I wondered if it was generational sin that I fell because of my geneological disposition.

And then my friends come to the rescue. I have clouded the issues, or blurred them. Sin is available to all of us. I suppose children are more apt to follow their parents footsteps and sin, should that be presented to them in their lives. But children can also grow up despising sin, loving the Lord and seeking to grow in Him.

Do not think I have forgotten the promise that they will return to the Truth. (Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go...). And I gained GREAT COMFORT from the things you all shared with me. In Ezekial He says this is no more, this thing identified as generational sin. And I knew that, I did. But the enemy beats me up, even after I dress in my full armor (Eph 6), sometimes I blame myself for any diversion from walking in the light by my kiddos.

And I also know that there is now, therefore, no condemnation...(thanks, Frank) but I canNOT stand to see my babies struggle with sin. I canNOT bear to know that I did not always and always walk upright before their impressionable eyes. I know that they are where they are because of my choices and I want to lay down and DIE. You don't know how very seriously I mean that...well, I just told you. I am serious. I hurt for them. I see their struggles and KNOW that there are things...

i can't finish.

i know where they are going and i know i shall see them there.