Its Only Werds...

i love to write. i am often inspired by life and lessons to share things with words. sometimes the words get stuck.

it is in those times i find i am mostly distracted, whether by tons of work and study or by a trap of the enemy. sometimes i look at myself and wonder if i am making a difference in ANY life with which i am a part of. sometimes i feel invisible...not in a self-pitying way, but in a rather insignificant way. it is then that i throw away my efforts and draw within. too many times, i fall into "stun-mode" and do that one thing: inhale, exhale, blink...go through the motions, perform my duties, stare at walls and sleep.

i've had a little virus of some kind. and i miss my son so much, but i am mostly excited about what is happening to him. i got a personal private mom-only letter yesterday. he thanked me for how i raised him. he thanked me for sending him a letter EVERY SINGLE DAY. he called me his earthly rock. and at the bottom of the back of his letter, (this is the most important part!!!) he traced his hand and drew the traditional kindergarten thanksgiving turkey. that may seem odd, wrong or just weird to you, but you'd have to know more.

i have wondered lately if i wrote too much, wondered if my daily letters were annoying. and then, the last couple of letters i asked him to keep a little corner of his heart for momma. i have friends telling me DAILY that the "little boy" i watched go off to Marine Corps basic training is NOT the man who will come home to me. i thought, ok, that's ok, that's a good thing...but the longer he has been gone, i find myself fighting the urge to cry and write to him, "OK!! OK!! I KNOW YOU CAN DO ALL THAT SUFF, NOW COME  HOME!!!" but i don't. i just didn't want the military training to blot out every trace of my baby. he will always ALWAYS be my baby. so, i needed the turkey. and i thanked him accordingly.

i have daydreams about his graduation day. the first thing i say when i see him in his service alphas will be: "ok, OK! i'll stop calling you the BABY!!!"

shared with love for my friends, because it's all that will come out.

let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus PHIL 2:5

not sure why, but there it is.